Repeat After Me, DO NOT Repeat What Mommy Says

Today Alyson of The Shitastrophy joins us for Motherhood Monday with a post about getting caught with her tail between her legs and wishing she had bit her tongue...well at least in front of her son anyway. We've all done it, said something about someone in front of our kids that we shouldn't have. We don't all get caught but let Alyson's story be a lesson to you before it's too late. I have a special love for Alyson, not just because she says it like it is (which I love) and is always hilarious when she does (which I also love) but because she is originally from NJ and because we share a like for a certain four letter word. So let's lighten things up today and have a laugh. Learn about her here and you will love her as much as I do.

Originally from NJ, Alyson now lives in the Midwest but has kept her sarcastic cynical Jersey attitude. She has to make a conscious effort to not curse in most conversations. She is the mother of two kids that provide constant fodder for her blog, The Shitastrophy. Her husband lives in fear that every thing he does or says will be highlighted in her next post, Face Book update, or Tweet. Alyson loves her two huge Bernese Mountain Dogs, even if they do eat their weight in food each month. You can follow Alyson on her blog The Shitastrophy, on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google + 

I have had (see how that was past tense, you’ll know why in a second) a habit of saying things when my kids were around that in hindsight I probably shouldn’t have. I was not aware that they were actually listening or I would have not said anything in the first place. I am sure everyone has had this, at least I hope so. One day though I realized my kids do listen, and that they will repeat what I say.

Last year my oldest was in second grade and just turned 8. This kid never listens to me. To get his attention I have to actually scream his last name at him! I blame this on the fact that his class had 4 Jacob’s. I went to school with 6 Allison’s, Alison’s, Alyson’s so I know how this can be. Whenever I want him to do something, or have a conversation with him, I have to practically hit the floor right in front of him to get eye contact. What this kid lacks in attention though he has double the dose in memory. For those that know me, he clearly does not get this from me. Just when I thought he never listens I learn that he actually does listen, just not when I want him to.

His school had a pickup procedure that entailed parking your car and walking up to a general area to collect your child. It was a gorgeous September day and I was running a little late for pickup. Thank God because that meant only a few people would hear my horrible parenting move. I pulled into the lot like I was right out of NASCAR, got out of the car and ran up to get my two chitlins. Jacob was standing on the top of the church staircase talking to a little boy from his class. I was not a super fan of this child’s parents and apparently I had said something about my lack of love for the mother within earshot of Jake. Not good.

Soon as I walked up to get Jake the other boy said to me, “Why did you call my mom crazy?”

Uhhhhhh What? My mind went blank. Fuck.

“Oh honey, I didn’t call your mom crazy.” I totally called his mom crazy. I grabbed Jake’s arm and told him we needed to get his sister and leave.

Jacob looked at me and said, “No Mom you did call his mom Crazy, remember?”
“No honey, you must have misunderstood me. I would never do that.” Uh, yea I totally did that. How the hell was I gonna get out of this?

I was giving Jacob the stink eye but he was not even aware of it, typical. I looked at the little boy standing on the stairs and he was genuinely upset, who wouldn’t be? I called his mom a name that I shouldn’t have. I never thought that this little guy would have heard my unflattering comments about his mom. When you are in 2nd grade you still like your mom. Hell some people even still like their mom in adulthood.
Jacob further helped dig the hole I was halfway in when he continued demanding that I did in fact say that.

“Yes, Mom you did call his mom Crazy. Remember we were in the car and you were on the phone with so and so. You said his mom is CRAZY.”

I looked at the little boy and thought, it’s official I am an asshole. I explained to the little boy that I would not have said that because that would have been wrong and mean. I am totally going to hell for lying to this kid, while I am on the church steps nonetheless! I couldn’t cop to it. How do you shatter a 8 year old’s opinion of his mother. Cause seriously that chick is totally crazy.

I got Jacob by the elbow and literally pulled him away from the scene of the crime. All the while he was demanding, loudly for anyone within a 15 foot radius, that I did in fact call her crazy. Thanks buddy.

I then turned into my mother when the phrase I hated hearing as a child came out of my mouth to my son, “Jacob what happens in our home stay’s in our home.”
Oh my God! I not only lied on church property, hurt an 8 year old’s feelings, but I just became my mother all in a matter of minutes. WTF just happened?

 

I Cried At My Son's Teacher Conference

Today Amy Bozza of My Real Life joins us for Motherhood Monday with a post about trying to find the attention balance when you have more than one child.

Amy Bozza, author of the blog, My Real Life, lives in NJ with her husband and four children. Amy is a middle school administrator, writer,  blogger, and piano teacher who has been published as a contributor in the best-selling book I Just Want to Pee Alone. You can find Amy on Facebook at My Real Life or at her blogs at My Real Life and Bozza Writes.





I Cried At My Son's Teacher Conference

Teacher conferences for Baby and Monkey in the Middle were last week.
I went in pretty confident that I knew what the teachers were going to say.
Both boys are smart, do well, need to slow down, pay more attention to detail and write neater.
Monkey in the Middle (3rd grade) is all about structure and the rules, has a lot of friends and seems happy.
Baby Monkey (1st grade) doesn’t talk much, but enjoys his friends and seems happy.
I was dead on with both conferences.
However, at Baby’s conference, I was thrown a bit of a curve.
Nothing terrible.  Nothing of extreme concern.
His teacher mentioned that they have a chart on the board where kids move their name magnets to show who is buying lunch and who brought their own lunch.
When the kids come in, in the morning, the first thing they do is move their magnet to the appropriate lunch space.
Apparently, if Baby Monkey doesn’t get there first, he rearranges the magnets so that his can be on top.
When they read books on the carpet, he makes sure he weasels his way in between everyone so that he can be front and center.
She said, “He never does anything wrong or breaks the rules, but you can tell that it is very, very important to Baby to be first.”
And, while it is age appropriate (what first grader doesn’t want to be first) the fact that he is rearranging magnets to be first and weaseling in-between people got me thinking.
He’s such a laid-back kid.
Seriously.
And he’s kind of had to be.
He has an older brother who has anxiety and requires a lot of our time and attention.
He has a younger brother who is a toddler and requires a lot of our time and attention.
He often gets his needs attended to second.
Or third.
Or fourth.
And he never complains.
It’s outside of his control, and so he goes with the flow and lets it go.
But, at school, by moving those magnets or smushing in-between his friends on the carpet, he can control being first, and so he does.
And as I thought about it on the way home, I started to cry.
This kid is such a good boy, and yes, there are great lessons to be learned in having to wait your turn and be patient and realize that you aren’t the center of the universe, but every now and then, we all deserve to be the center of the universe, and I want to be sure that he knows that he IS the center of our universe.
He’s not alone in the center of our universe, but he is there, and I don’t ever want him to feel like he’s hovering on the outskirts and we’ll get to him when we’re done with everyone else.
So, I gotta do better with my Baby Monkey.

Motherhood Monday-Holding On While Letting Go

Today Karen of Baking in a Tornado joins us for Motherhood Monday. She's at a crossroads in her Motherhood journey, with one son off at college and another son in his last year of high school. It's funny how life comes full circle at times and it sounds like that's exactly what it's doing for Karen right now. People are always saying to enjoy the moments because the years fly by. After reading this beautiful post by Karen I know that it's true.

 

 

 

Karen is a former Director of Social Service and Retail Buyer, now SAHM to two teens. She’s still serving and buying, just with the money going out instead of in. She started baking to feed the hordes of teens who’ve made her basement their home, and continued when she realized it relieves stress. She blogs, shares recipes and vents at Baking in a Tornado. Karen’s been featured on the websites Mamapedia, Scary Mommy, Generation Fabulous and Treat a Day and is published in the Life Well Blogged series and in the book The Mother of all Meltdowns. She’s currently working on two future books. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook (trust me she posts some delicious recipes).

 

Holding On While Letting Go

 

Holding on and letting go. Two completely different concepts, right? But right now I find myself trying to balance them both.

 

I have two boys, teenagers at this point. One is a freshman in college. The other is a senior in high school. I’m not sure how this all happened, I just know that old cliché “time flies” is a cliché for a reason.

 

My boys are a little more than a year apart in age. So when my older son was born, I had a year alone with him. He was a baby and it was time I treasured.

 

There were instances after my younger son was born that I felt a little guilty. My older son had time where he was an only child, time to bond alone with mom that my younger son would never have. My younger son would have to share me from the time he was born.

 

Of course bonding doesn’t work that way. He may have an older brother, and he may not have had time alone with mom, but the beauty of bonding is that it doesn’t have to happen in a vacuum. It happens organically on a solid foundation of love and nurturing.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The boys are opposites in every way. Looks, temperament, interests, personality. I love this about them, they are each individuals. They’re wonderful in their own ways, and trying in their own ways as well. When they were little and were jealous of the others’ strengths I’d always tell them “you don’t have to be like him, I already have one of him, you be you”.

 

Fast forward to last year. My older son was a senior in high school and my younger son a junior.  It was a tough year. You’ve heard of the “terrible twos”, well the teenage years are the terrible twos on hormones, with a driver’s license and YOUR car. Older son was more of a handful for a vast number of reasons and really pushed every one of my buttons he could find. I’m convinced he even manufactured a few I didn’t know I had.

 

I have to admit that I started blogging and venting and maybe even hiding now and then. And yes, I even started the college count down. On any given day of that year I could tell you how many days till he started college. It’s possible I even had that countdown down to minutes.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

I won’t say that I wasn’t relieved to drop College Boy off, I was, but there was comfort in knowing that he was only an hour from home.

 

I also won’t say that I don’t miss him like crazy. I will admit that when Hubs and I did actually leave him, I texted him for the first time before we even pulled out of the dorm parking lot.

 

But I went home to circumstances I hadn’t thought about all those years ago. It had happened. I had a year alone with my younger son.

 

It’s completely different from that year I spent alone with my older son. This younger son is in many ways my baby, but he’s also in many ways a grown man. He’s got his own friends and his own life, but we have time together as well. He’s applying to colleges and, I say through my tears, it looks like he will end up at one far away. But no matter what the plans are, just as I did with my older son all those years ago, I’m treasuring this time alone with my younger one.

 

And like it or not, I’m finding myself living that dichotomy:

 

Holding on

 

while letting go.

 

 

 

Motherhood Monday~Homework Struggles: Parent vs. Teacher

 

 

 

 

Homework can be one of the biggest struggles between a parent and a child. As the parent we want to help, but how much is too much, and what if they don't want our help, but need it. Today Bonnie Frank (a.k.a. Lady Blogger) joins us for Motherhood Monday to give us the perspective of both a mother and a teacher. I grew up with a teacher for a mother and now that I am a mom I can only imagine how hard it was to separate the two...especially when it came time for homework. Bonnie is here to give us moms some much needed tips when it comes to making homework time a lot less painful.

 

 Bonnie Frank (a.k.a. LadyBlogger) has a Master's Degree in Education and is a former teacher and college professor who has taught hundreds of elementary, middle school and college students. Bonnie has two teenage sons and is married to a man she's been with for 32 years.  You can read more of her thoughts on her LadyBlogger website (http://ladyblogger.net) and on Facebook, Twitter,  Pinterest and Google +.  

 

 

 

 

Homework Struggles: Parent vs. Teacher

I've worn both parent and teacher hats for the past 17 years and I understand the struggles that homework can cause among parents, children and teachers.   The idea behind homework is that kids should have an opportunity to practice what is being covered in class.  Today, some teachers implement a "flipped classroom" model where students watch instructional videos at home and class time is used for questions, review and introduction to the next lesson. In either case, kids have something to do at home...
    **On any given day, the following question is heard in homes of traditionally schooled and homeschooled kids around the world:
       Scenario #1: "Mom/Dad, can you help me with my

       homework...?"
 What do parents and teachers think when they hear this  

question?

Parent
I want my child to succeed in school.  My child needs me and I don't want to let him down.  I'll just show him the way that I know how to do it.  It's much faster and easier than today's "new math" anyway. 
Note: This parent is feeling insecure about his parenting skills and/or the child's academic abilities.  Having the child go to school with the homework completed will make the parent and the child look/feel better.  

Teacher
Homework is the student's responsibility.  This parent has already graduated from ______ (fill in child's grade here) and no longer needs to prove that he/she can do this level of homework.
Note:  Teachers need to evaluate the child's abilities.  When parents "help" with homework, it leads to arguments between parent and child as well as a message to the child that s/he is incapable.  This is no help!

I have been the parent in scenario #1.  I know what it's like to see your child struggle, cry, yell, throw things and quit when attempting to finish a homework assignment.  I also know the parental frustration and child's look of helplessness when he tells you, "That's not the way my teacher told me to do it."

No one wants a child to fail--not the teacher, not the parent, and especially not the child!  But interfering in your child's time to practice his/her skills and knowledge is a clear message that s/he is incapable in your eyes.  Moreover, rather than helping, it is actually impeding your child's success.  Your child will not learn to succeed unless you let him.
So what's a parent to do? 
     Scenario #2 "Mom/Dad, can you help me with my homework...?
   How the parent and teacher respond to/reflect on this question:

Parent
"Look at the assignment again and if you still have questions about it, call (not text or Skype) one or two of your friends from the class and see if that helps.  If that doesn't work, try again and if you are still having difficulty, email (not text, call or Skype) your teacher, let her know the steps you've taken to get your assignment done, and ask to arrange a time (before school, lunch, free periods or after school) that the two of you can meet and you can get some help."

Teacher
"I am so glad that __________ (fill in student's name) emailed me (not texted, called or Skyped) about the homework last night.  It is clear that s/he really tried to complete the work and was responsible enough to let me know right away rather than waiting until the beginning of class the following day.  This shows that s/he cares about the assignment and takes responsibility for his/her learning.  I really wish more of my students were like this."

Note: Parents who homeschool their children may need to say "I'm wearing my mom/dad hat right now, not my teacher hat..."

The question in scenarios 1 and 2 were the same, but the reactions to that question were very different in each scenario.  As with anything else in life, although we cannot control what happens, we can control how we react to it. Showing our children that we believe in them and their abilities is crucial.  This doesn't mean that our kids must figure out everything by themselves (remember calling friends, emailing/meeting a teacher), but it does mean that they need to take responsibility for their own learning.  If the situation arises where the student requires assistance on a regular basis and a tutor is needed, the tutor should not be the parent.  A parent's job is to parent.  (Even if that parent also homeschools his/her children.)  There are loads of tutors out there including Education majors at local colleges and universities looking for (free) practicum hours!


Parenting is a tough job and the more we can allow ourselves opportunities to enjoy our children, the better (and more peaceful) our home lives will be.  I'd love to know your thoughts on the homework struggles!

Looking for a book that can help your homework woes?  John Rosemond's  Ending The Homework Hassle is a good place to start.  This book offers "step-by-step directions for implementing a successful homework management system."  Regardless of whether you choose to use his suggestions, Rosemond's approach provides parents food for thought. This book is available in paper form and on e readers.  

Motherhood Monday-No One Told Me There Would Be Days Like This

Today Ashley Fitting of It's Fitting joins us for Motherhood Monday. She's talking about the days we all have...the ones where the only question we can ask is "Am I doing this parenting thing right?" She's not alone we all have our doubts and in the end we all realize we aren't as bad as we think we are. Motherhood...we've got this thing!

 

Oh the difference a few years makes...Where once she was a professional event planner and fundraiser in beautiful Southern CA, now Ashley Fitting is a full time SAHM in a gorgeous-in-it's-own-way, semi-rural cow town in Sonoma County. After a rocky start she learned to embrace the Green Acres, cooking, suburban farming and taking pictures along the way. It may be rural, but at least they have wine, right?

You can find Ashley on her blog It's Fitting as well as on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and of course Google+

 

 

 

 

When you're pregnant for the first time you imagine all of these wonderful experiences that are to come. You imagine what it will be like to hold your baby for the first time, first steps, first words... all of the beautiful things that make up your first years as a parent. You know that it's going to be a rocky road, that there are things you don't know and that you'll have to learn by the seat of the your pants. (Have you read my posts on post pregnancy?? Try this Post Pregnancy Symptoms or Post Pregnancy Symptoms 2 for a little reality about the horrors of post pregnancy (*shudder*)

But you know that you'll figure it out, that everything will be fine and that you're going to rock as a parent...

But no one told me that there would be times where I think that I am completely.effing.this.up.

We have two little kids. We are trying to raise them to be respectful and kind, good to each other and their friends, aware that they are so very lucky to live a privileged life. We are trying anyway. But it's hard. And after one particularly bad day/week/month with my four year old I couldn't help but start to panic that I had done something wrong. Why did he delight in pushing my buttons? Why was everything a battle? Where was my kind sweet boy that used to snuggle with me and tell me how much he loved me?

Had I done something terribly terribly wrong?

My husband tried to talk me down off the parenting ledge as I cried and sobbed that I had made a monster of my 4 year old. That I had created this little hellion. That this was all my fault and I was a crappy parent. I had FAILED and he was only 4... what was the rest of our life going to be like if I sucked so incredibly bad at this?????

Um yeah. It may have been a particularly dramatic few days for us around these parts but my husband peeled me off the ceiling and calmed me down. No, I was not a parenting failure. I had not ruined my Big Kid, I had not turned him into a sociopath and he was probably still going to be a contributing member of society as an adult. We were just going through a particularly crappy patch of life. Let's face it, 4 is no picnic for us. And there will probably be times again in the future (the teen years? God help me) when I wonder where I went wrong.

The important thing was to stop and re-evaluate. We had a talk about tactics. About what was working and what was (obviously) not. And I tried to change myself and my parenting to adjust to the changes that were happening to him. He was growing up and becoming more independent and testing me all.the.time. But I'm the parent who's home with him and I'm the parent who can't take it personally when he tries to push my buttons to get a rise out of me.

Because even with those difficult moments in life, there are still so many times that we have dance parties in our jammies, or spend hours playing cards or Monopoly, or snuggle in bed reading books at the end of a long, difficult day. And underneath all of the snark, he's still there. My sweet boy who we've taught to be kind and gentle and loving and smart.

And I'm probably not a terrible parent after all.

Motherhood: A Day In The Life

It's Motherhood Monday. Today Jeanette of Mommy Needs A Martini is giving us a little glimpse into her daily (crazy) life. Jeanette is a full time mother of two and works outside the home. She coaches girls youth softball, is active in her church and enjoys spending time with her family. In her free time, Jeanette blogs about her adventures in motherhood and wonderfully hilarious crafting attempts (and fails) at Mommy Needs A Martini . You can also follow Jeannette on Facebook , or on Twitter and of course on Pinterest. I happen to know that Jeannette has an awesome relationship with her dad (and he's pretty damn funny) See here.

I’m three and a half years into this gig called Motherhood. In that time, I have learned that I have so much more to learn, but I’ve also learned that my patience and compassion levels have increased tenfold compared to pre-baby me. There are many times during our hectic days that I want nothing more than to curl up in a ball and hide in a closet. But there are many more times when I can’t get enough of the laughing and loving and memories being made.

 

A typical day in our house starts before the sun is up. You know what? I’ll just break it down for you:

 

530am – I wake up, rush to get ready, sometimes forgetting deodorant just so I can pee alone before the kids wake up.
545am – 3yo wakes up, usually singing loud for all to hear and waking everyone within 3 blocks of our house.
6am-630am – 3yo is dressed, hair done, baby doll dressed, some unknown crisis is dealt with and/or avoided, a new favorite cartoon is discovered, her shoes don’t match, her skirt isn’t princess-y enough and her hair is too tight. I eventually am able to divert with a snack while I wake up the 1yo.
630am-645am – 1yo is dressed, hair brushed, shoes on and she’s giggling. This is my brief moment of clarity for the day.
645am-700am – Daycare/Preschool drop-off. Hugs, kisses, tears, more hugs, being introduced to friends for the eleventy thousandth time, more kisses, waves through the window, promises are made to return with more hugs, teacher diversion successful, I exit stage left.
700am-730am – I drive to work in complete silence. Instead of crawling into a closet
730am-400pm – Work. Sometimes mind numbing, sometimes exciting. Mostly just work. And a paycheck.
415pm-445pm – I drive to daycare with the music at 11 and sing like a loon.
445pm-515pm – Daycare pick up. There is crying, some screaming, a lot of No’s being thrown around, a trip to the potty, a sudden switch to adorable as art work is proudly displayed, hugs and goodbyes to all the friends, a quick turn to Tantrum Town because, why not. Tears ensue over jacket requirements, or opening the door too quickly, or not walking slow enough or just because they feel like it.
515pm-6pm – I make a feeble attempt to wind the kids down, try to keep them engaged but not stimulated, sing songs and tell stories, they have afternoon snack while I make dinner, I feed the dogs, clean up from the morning rush, prepare for bath and bedtime, make lunches for the next day, try to accomplish some sort of cleaning (laundry, sweeping, dishes). All the while still singing so they don’t notice me searching for the nearest corner to hide.
6pm-630pm – We’re back in Tantrum Town.
630pm-7pm – Both kids have finally eaten dinner and are usually whining to be held, at the same time. Or they’re pooping, at the same time.
7pm-715pm – DADDY’S HOME! MOMMY RUNS!
715pm -730pm – Mommy’s back. Daddy needs a break. No, I’m not kidding.
730pm-8pm – Bath and clean-up time.
8pm-930pm – The longest, most ridiculously painstaking bedtime routine in the history of all the lands takes place.
930pm-1015pm – Time to wash dishes (again), clean up toys (again), lay out clothes for the next day, prep dinner for the next day, make a list for tomorrow of things I forgot to do today. Sometimes I cry from exhaustion or frustration and let the running sink drown it out. Sometimes I giggle out loud and make my husband question my sanity.
1015pm-11pm – I fight to keep my eyes open so I can enjoy mindless social media time while watching mindless television.
11pm – I crash. HARD.

(Some, ok MOST, nights…)

2am – The 1yo is awake.

330am – The 3yo is awake.

4am – They’re both back to sleep.

530am – My alarm goes off. AGAIN.

 

After the tantrums and the whining and the begging and the pleading and after the praying for bedtime and hoping they sleep all night, I truly am amazed by how big my heart grew when my two little girls came into this world. Even if it’s a simple giggle or a tight hug around my leg or that last “I love you” of the day, it’s all worth it. Motherhood has been one (mis)adventure after another and I can’t wait for more.

 

Motherhood Monday-The Trouble With Three

My guest blogger for today's Motherhood Monday is Sharon Marie of Finding Vanilla Octopus. It's funny how fitting this post is for me today. I currently have two boys but I've been thinking a lot lately about adding a third. Sharon had me laughing and definitely gave me a lot to think about. Three kids is no joke! (Wait or is it?) I think she wraps this post up beautifully and I have to agree the ride might be crazy but the company is fabulous. Sharon is a stay-at-home mom and referee to three babies, all under the age of three. She tries to cram in blogging time as best she can in the midst of the chaos, for love of writing and the opportunity to share her amateur photography attempts.  You can learn more about Sharon on Facebook, Twitter and of course over on her blog, Finding Vanilla Octopus.

Over the years, I've run across the Jim Gaffigan bit about having four children in various forms:

"If you want to know what it's like to have a fourth [baby] just imagine you're drowning... and then someone hands you a baby."

The first time I heard it, being a mother of one, I chuckled. By the second time, I was a mother of two (under two) and I still chuckled, but I also started to really understand.

Now, I'm clocking in at three and I get it. I get it every day. I may only have three to Jim's four, (and in no way can I imagine four right now) but there's a palpable dynamic that changes when the children suddenly outnumber the parents.

In my situation, add to that the fact that my third came on the tails of my second, so I can now boast a crew of not just three children, but three babies- essentially- all under the age of three. As a result, I often wonder if many of my struggles are unique to my particular situation. I can't speak for the experience of wider-spaced siblings, as I only know what I've lived.

I can attest that there are some pretty hefty challenges that come with the territory.

1. I can't get dressed until I've dressed three people before me. My oldest can pull on a shirt and pants by herself, but still needs assistance with style-planning, amongst other things. Ditto for mealtimes and bedtime.   
2. Diaper changes are a multi-occasion, multi-person daily event (especially when your     oldest, who's technically old enough to train, remains too defiant to actually do so).   
3. Somebody is always teething (often, two at once).
4. It's impossible to line up everyone's nap times, and subsequently- impossible to plan around them if we go out anywhere.
5. Varying sizes are a concern when the play gets a little rough.
6. I'm locked in a continuous, rotating cycle of transitions to independence.
7. It's impossible to explain the logic behind age-appropriate discipline tactics to a toddler.    

Those last two points are perhaps the most difficult to cope with at times. It's hard to fully rejoice in the fact that my oldest can now be left alone in a safe room for a couple of minutes at a time when my middle child has attained a dynamic mix of height, curiosity, and mischief-making capability at the same time. When the littlest one needs to be removed from the room for a nap, knowing that the biggest one will be okay for the five to ten minutes it will take me to put the baby down doesn't stop me needing to make other plans for the middle.

Then, there are the similarly-themed mealtime challenges. My life should be so much simpler now that Middle child can fully feed himself, and even (mostly) handle utensils. However, now the baby is old enough for solids, so I'm finding that I've got a new hand waiting for me to take hold of as I try to manage a decent meal for myself. On top of that, Middle's got a talent for coming up with new and fascinating ways to half-consume, half-play with food, which my oldest is still young enough to find amusing and inspiring. It's tough to get her to stop the antics, however, when her younger sibling is not yet old enough to be consistently discouraged effectively.

Bad habits get passed back and forth like stubborn viruses on a regular basis around here.

However, the chaos is not without great beauty. I could never trade the bonds I see being formed between my near-triplet cherubs for a more sanity-saving attempt at age-spacing; could never possibly replicate the joy I see my children bring to each other on a daily basis, whom they will never remember being without; could never imagine any of them being any different, or their relationships to each other being any different, than they are right now.

One day, when I'm on the other side of all of the crazy, I will realize this more fully, appreciate it far more gracefully. For now, I simply cling to the abstract notion of it as I desperately hang on for the ride.