Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Mom I know you’re tired (not just sleepy tired but up all night can't keep your eyes open tired) and there are days you feel like you just can’t do it, but I want you to know that to me you are amazing.

Mom I know you didn’t have time for a shower and you are still in the same shirt you wore two days ago, but I want you to know how much I love seeing you…just the way you are.

Mom I know there are times you feel overwhelmed, but I want you to know you are my hero.

Mom I know you are secretly disappointed with the dinner you threw together for us tonight, but I want you to know your food is my favorite.

Mom I know you don’t have time to exercise as much as you would like and you can’t remember the last time you got your nails done, or your hair for that matter, but I want you to know that I think you’re beautiful.

Mom I know there are days you feel like you failed, but I want you to know that at the end of the day I feel happy, safe, and loved.

Mom I know you worry about me all the time and I want you to know that I know you love me.

Mom I know there are days you feel like you got more than you signed up for and I want you to know that you take on everyday in a way that makes me always think that you’ve got this. You’ve always got this.

Mom I know there are days that you feel alone. I want to hug you.

Mom you are doing so much better than you think. You love me.  You make me laugh. You run with me and play with me. You read to me and cuddle with me. You make me feel safe and loved. I may not know much about life yet, but I know that you are doing a great job. You are my mom and I love you.

Five Things That Have Made Me A Better Mother

You have heard it all before. Motherhood is hard. Motherhood is unpredictable. You may not ever really feel like you know what you’re doing. While all of these things are true there is a lot of joy, wisdom, and knowledge that come along with being a mother.

I have to admit however that I haven’t always found the joy, wisdom or knowledge I was hoping to have.  There have been many days that have been filled with frustration and doubt. There have been days that I have wanted bedtime to arrive sooner rather than later. There have been days that I have cried on the phone to my husband while he is at work. There have been days I yelled more than I would have liked. Those have not been my proudest moments as a mother.  I finally figured out that there were some things I needed to change.

Redefining the idea of the perfect day.

I needed to realize that the days are never going to be “magazine or Pinterest perfect”. The kids are not always going to have on clothes that match or are stain free for that matter. We are not going to be able to do the perfect craft once a week to hang on our fridge for all our relatives to see. We are not always going to eat perfectly prepared organic meals and that is okay. Sometimes the perfect day is going to be spent inside in our pajamas. We are going to eat pretzels and cookies and watch way too much television. We are going to throw caution to the wind and feel a sense of freedom.

Ignoring the noise.

I spent way too much time telling my kids to quiet down. “Stop screaming.” “Why are you guys so loud today? “ I got sick of hearing my own voice telling them to quiet down. I finally realized kids are loud. Everything they do is loud. Moving from the kitchen to the living room? Loud. Talking to each other while right next to one another? Loud. Talking to each other while in separate bathrooms? Ridiculously loud.  I finally embraced the volume level around here. 

Allowing them to feel proud even if it’s not perfect.

At the end of every day we tell our kids to clean up all the toys they were playing with before bed. Often times that means they have to clean up the equivalent of a small toy store that only sells super small pieces. I have specific bins for all the toys. For some reason I expected a six year old and a three year old to always put things away in the correct bins. I found myself saying “Okay good enough” and then reorganizing everything after they were in bed. Why? Why on earth did I feel the need to do that? I realized one day that they were trying really hard. I realized that they were in fact putting away all the toys and they were proud that the floor was no longer a mine field of Legos. Instead of “good enough” I started saying “great job boys” and they started trying even harder. Lesson learned.

Allowing them to make mistakes.

It’s so hard sometimes to not intervene in every little thing my kids are doing. When our six year old was learning to ride a two wheeler for the first time I was constantly saying “Oh watch out!” “Try leaning more to your left. YOUR OTHER LEFT!” He got off his bike one day and said he was giving up. After giving him the whole when you don’t succeed at something right away that doesn’t mean you give it up speech I realized I needed to back off a little. I didn’t bring up the bike for two weeks. Then one day we were all outside and he went into the garage on his own and got out his bike. I stood on the other side of our yard biting my tongue and allowed him to lean the wrong way and ride directly into our shed one too many times. After about twenty minutes he got the hang of it and the smile on his face was worth the bite marks on my tongue.

Slowing down.

Our days are so busy. Between rushing around from one place to the next I often find myself saying “I can’t wait for this day to be over.” One day my six year old chimed in with a “Me either!” Wait just one second. A six year old should never want the day to be over before it’s even begun. I realized my stress was rubbing off on them. My constant worry about rushing off to the next place or checking off the next thing on the list of things to get done was stressing out my kids. I decided to make a constant effort to try not to feel so rushed. The email sitting in my inbox can wait. I don’t have to make it to every single PTA meeting. Target will still be open tomorrow.  I decided to slow down. I decided the extra hour of us running around outside was going to trump the homemade lasagna I was going to make. I decided grilled cheese and apple slices were going to have to do. I decided to be here instead of at the next place and I’m so happy I did.

Don’t get me wrong our days can still be chaotic and full of stress. I don’t always know what the day is going to bring, but one thing I do know is that doing these things has made me a better mother. 

If You Give A Toddler...Anything

If you give a toddler a crayon know that at some point she may draw you a beautiful picture…on the freshly painted wall.  Then she might drop said crayon into the heater so that come winter you wind up with a rainbow made of wax on your floor.

If you give a toddler a marker accept the fact that he will probably draw a mustache on the dog.

If you give a toddler Play-Doh you will find dried Play-Doh for months in places like your bed after that one big lapse in judgment.

If you give a toddler a cup of juice and tell him to be careful not to spill you have most certainly guaranteed that he will in fact spill it…everywhere.

If you give a toddler yogurt on a Monday and she loves every bit of it she will hate it when you try to give it to her on Friday. 

If you give a toddler his own clothes to put on after breakfast you will still have a naked toddler at dinner.

If you give a toddler a time line you will most certainly be even later than you planned.

If you give a toddler free reign of the house you will most likely wind up with toilet paper all the way down your hallway leading to him in your bathroom having a party.

 

If you give a toddler a hug you will get a hug in return that makes you forget about all the other stuff until you try to bake cookies “with” your toddler the very next day.