Welcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 12 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. I promise you if you need a laugh…and I think we all do, these posts will not disappoint.
Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:
I can tell you this much if you were a fly on the wall in this house you would find yourself thinking holy hell I’m exhausted. I have two boys, two boys under the age of 5 and they are FULL of energy. After getting past your constant exhaustion you would find the funny. My kids keep me laughing, god bless them because it is what gets us through the days with a smile. Here are a few short stories about things they either said or did this week. Fly on through and have a laugh while you do.
My husband and I had the great joy of getting away over the weekend to celebrate his 40th birthday. My parents and my sister and her husband stepped up and took great care of our boys while we were away. As much as I loved the break, the showers in peace, the quiet romantic dinners, the sleeping in until 9am and the late breakfasts at 11 I couldn’t wait to get back to them come Sunday. After picking them up I said to them we missed you so much. Did you miss us? My 22 month old shook his head and said no mommy. My 4yo said yes mommy we did. (Oh thank god I got worried there for a minute) After three minutes of silence my 4yo said mommy I didn’t actually miss you we were having too much fun to miss you. Well we have raised them not to lie so I guess I have no one to blame for this brutal honesty other than myself.
My husband and 4yo like to watch “men” shows together a couple of times a week. You know like Gold Rush, The Biggest Catch, & Yukon Men. Before you call the National Organization for Women (NOW) just know that I actually realize women can also enjoy these shows and I have been known to sit down for a little but I would much rather get a shower in while they do this. At any rate this week they were watching Yukon Men and they were hunting bear. My 4yo turns to my husband and says “Daddy what do bear eat?” Husband: Well they like honey and fish and berries. 4yo: And people Dad, bears like to eat honey and people. Um ok. So take this as a warning from my 4yo: DO NOT MESS WITH A BEAR, especially if you have been around some honey.
One of my favorite times of the day is when I get to snuggle with my 4yo before bed and read him his bed time story. It’s our time and no one can take it from us. On Tuesday we read a story about going to the moon. It talked about what it is like there, how astronauts get there etc. At the end of the story the author poses the question Do you think you will ever go to the moon? My 4yo responded with an adamant NO. So I turned to him and said why not buddy? Him: Because I’m too scared. Me: What are you scared of? Him: I am scared that M (his 22 month old brother) will want to follow me there. He is way too crazy and will run around, make a mess and ruin the moon and then the whole world will be mad at us. Me: Um ok that was not the answer I was expecting. Him: Come on mom you know it’s true.
So listen if you ever hear of a young astronaut’s brother sneaking in to the space shuttle and wrecking the whole entire moon you heard it here first.
There are times when you are in public with little kids that you want to hide. You literally want to look at your own child and say out loud yikes who is their mother? My kid would NEVER do that. While out at the grocery store with my 22 month old we were waiting on line at the deli counter and for whatever reason this seems to be the place where we become the entertainment for everyone else waiting for their number to be called. There was an older man waiting for his number to be called and he was a little on the heavy side with white hair and a white beard. My son proceeded to shout Ho Ho Ho at him the entire time we waited. At first I was hoping he didn’t notice but then other people started giggling and my son started pointing and saying it louder. I was desperately looking for a hole to crawl into but as my luck would have it there weren’t any. He looked over and smirked and I finally said well I hope you are a fan of Christmas otherwise I apologize. He laughed it off and actually looked at my son and said HO HO HO. Well let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s still in diapers.
afternoon:My four year old somehow knows how to become ridiculously loud at...well everything while my toddler naps. So today I went downstairs and said to him buddy what are you doing it's so loud?! I am building with blocks mom. Building what an addition on our house? Mom don't be ridiculous I can only add 2+2 and 3+2 so far I can't add anything to our house. Ok well please try to build a tiny bit quieter. I'm going upstairs to get snacks ready. 5 minutes later...Buddy here is your snack but honestly do you think I went deaf upstairs I heard you throwing the blocks. Mom you didn't go deaf you are alive and fine don't be silly. Um no I said deaf not...oh forget it. Build on buddy build on.
Ok so BOYS ARE GROSS! I know I know I am not breaking news here. This is a conversation though that I wish I never had to hear. Our 4yo was scratching his butt yes that’s right bare hand in his pants scratching his hiney. My husband says buddy knock it off. Why on earth are you doing that? Because it’s itchy dad (well that answers that) ok well go in the bathroom and wash your hands. FINE! My husband proceeded to follow him into the bathroom. STOP SCRATCHING YOUR BUTT!! Maybe I didn’t wipe enough. (BLECK YUCK YECK noises I was making from the living room) Ok well then wipe again and wash your hands. Get your hands out of your mouth. COME ON?! Dad I will wash my hands! Wash them now! I will!
As all this was going on I was sitting in the living room feeling like we were one step away from becoming the grossest family in America (who are you calling dramatic) Finally I heard running water and I knew something was being washed. As they both returned to the living room I said good grief that is a conversation I hope I never have to hear again as long as I live. My husband looked at me and said well then I hope for your sake you go deaf because with boys those conversations are going to happen. They are going to happen often.
I hope you had fun hanging on our walls for a bit. Listen if nothing else it lets you know YOU are not alone or YOU are doing better than some people out there (me). Here's to a happy weekend everyone...enjoy!