The other
day as I walked into our living room to pick up some of the 250 toys that had
been throw about that afternoon my five year old looked at me and said “Look
mom you should get that.” He was pointing at the television and when I realized
it was some type of a weight loss product commercial a lump was suddenly in my
throat. “Honey, why would mommy need to get that?”” Because it will help you
lose fat and gain muscle. You know
because you always say you feel fat. “Suddenly that lump turned into a
giant boulder. Instead of feeling fat I just felt like a big fat failure.
Before I
could say anything else my husband chimed in from the kitchen and said “Buddy
mommy isn’t fat and it’s not nice to use that word when you describe someone.”
I could suddenly see the look of confusion on the face of my five year old. After all
he didn’t actually call me fat. He simply repeated the fact that I often call
myself fat. A wave of panic came over me.
All this time I never thought about what my fat shaming or body issues
could be doing to my children. Why? Why had I not considered that they may be
soaking it in? Why had I not realized that they were listening to me? Why had I
not noticed them in the room when I would say things like “Ugh if I don’t fit
in a run soon I won’t fit in my pants.” Why had I not noticed them looking at
me when I would ask my husband if the jeans I put on made my butt look big? Then
it hit me like a ton of bricks. I never thought about it because I have
boys. I have often thought to myself that
if I ever have a daughter I would really have to watch how much I complain about
my body. The last thing I would want is for her to grow up with a warped
body image. I never once thought about
what it could be doing to my boys.
As a society
we have become so used to constant chatter about diets, weight loss, good
foods, bad foods, the best workouts for better butts, arms, legs, abs and on
and on and on that it doesn’t seem anything but normal to us. BLEH!!! I dare
you to turn on a news program in the morning and last a whole hour without
hearing anything about diet tips, the best foods for weight loss, how to cut
out sugar FOREVER, jeans that make you look skinnier, taller, richer, anything
but bigger. Pull up Facebook at any
given point in the day and try to avoid statuses about shakes, diet pills,
powders, potions, new workouts, new workout gear, diets with no fat, diets with
no carbs, no sugar, no solids, protein only diets, eating protein while running
in place and lifting weights above your head diets. You can’t. You would have to actually look
away to not read anything about these things in your newsfeed. Oh and you can
just forget standing on line at the grocery store. Every single magazine has
something about diet; get a butt like celebrity A and legs like celebrity B.
Maybe you want your left toe to be just as skinny as celebrity C in her last
blockbuster. They hold the secrets to all of this and more.
Our kids are
saturated by constant information about weight loss. CONSTANT! How do they
stand a chance? We have become a society
obsessed by what we eat, what we don’t eat and what we do in between eating.
There are so many commercials on all about weight loss it’s actually become
absurd. The fat loss industry has taken over and I for one am over it. I am over the fat talk. I am over using the word fat in my every day life.
I have
boys. The last thing I want is for my
boys to grow up with a mom who is constantly saying she feels fat. I run. I eat
healthy and I should feel good about my body. I’m going to be 38 not 18. If I
don’t embrace my body now I never will. I want my boys to know that there is so
much more to a woman than her body. I do
not want my boys to grow up calling people fat. I do not want my boys to grow
up and be so superficial when it comes to picking a partner because I will
never forgive myself. I’m going to make an effort to talk about the positive
instead of the negative. I’m going to set an example that I run because I enjoy
it, which I do, rather than have them associate exercise as just a means to
burn calories. I’m going to enjoy ice cream with them in the summer and pizza
with them on a Friday. Oh and on birthdays I’m going to have my cake and eat it
too! I’m going to allow my children to
see me live life in moderation not in desperation. I’m
going to start loving myself instead of constantly focusing on the negative.
The phrase: “I feel fat” is officially banned from this house.
