Today’s post is part of The Secret Subject Swap hosted by
Karen over at Baking In a Tornado My subject is: You're the creator of a
magnificent new invention! What is it and why did you invent it? It was
submitted by Daily Dose of Damn
This was so fun to participate in and I
hope you will have fun reading it.
Mom Brain, according to the Urban Dictionary it is the phenomenon
known to mothers where their brains become useless piles of goo after being
around their children for too long. I would say this is 100% accurate. My brain
has officially become a pile of goo. I will walk into a room on a clear cut
mission but once standing in said room I couldn’t tell you what that mission
was even if you offered me money. I go
to the grocery store with a full written list in my hands yet somehow I get
home and find out I have forgotten at least three things on that list. I have been known to have full conversations with
my husband and forget the content completely. It’s awful. I for one am sick of
it. I want my brain back. So it got me thinking there has to be something that
will help my goo turn back to brilliance. (Okay that may be pushing it but stay
with me).
I’ve invented something and you are going to want it. The
other night I was sitting in my bed stretched towards the wall while trying to
tweet on my charging phone and it hit me, why can’t we recharge our brains? So
mom’s I invented the brain recharger. It’s simple really and requires no
electricity. Please let us not take up another outlet as they are all filled
with phones, lap tops, IPads, IPods, and the like. The mommy brain recharger comes in one simple
package. You send away for it at www.bringmemybrain.com
and 5 weeks later (when we remember to send it to you) it arrives on your
doorstep. When you open the box you will find, bubble bath, wine, an unbreakable wine glass, ear plugs,
an eye mask, a neck pillow, a gift
certificate for a mani/pedi, a business card for a free babysitting service run
by only the best, background checked, Mary Poppins like women. You will also find
a mandatory order to take a random 2 hour nap at a paid for hotel while Mary
Poppins plays with your little or not so little rug rats. Your house will be
clean, dinner will be made and your kids will behave better than you could have
ever imagined when you get home.
The best part is when you get home your brain will be with
you mama! You will be able to think again like you did back in college, okay
high school, okay whenever you were actually at your best. You will walk into a room with a purpose and
you will not forget what it is. You will have conversations again without losing
your train of thought and suddenly thinking about a poop diaper. You will be
focused and ON YOUR GAME! The best part is our Bring Me My Brain package
comes with a money back guarantee and if you buy it within the next two weeks
and mention this post you will get the package valued at *Too expensive for
you* for 26 easy payments of $19.95. How can you beat that?! I mean honestly I don’t think you can really
put a monetary value on having your brain back do you?
So what are you waiting for pick up the phone and dial: 1
800-my-brain-is-goo these packages won’t last long.
Disclaimer: Not all mom brains can be cured with one
package. Some women may require a series of packages before seeing a noticeable
difference. Some women have been known to order repeatedly. You may experience sadness
once you are finished with the package.
Under no circumstances are you to hold the baby sitter hostage. Once you
return home she goes home. Some women may lose motivation to return to normal
household duties.
 |
| This woman clearly took it too far. |
Some women may hide in the bathtub for longer than expected.
If any of these side effects should occur please don’t call us we barely have
time to send out the packages let alone answer the phone.
The preceding post is a work of fiction an invention or
fabrication as opposed to fact. If you should attempt to call
1800-my-brain-is-goo or visit www.bringmemybrain.com
you will be met with disappointment.
This has been a work of fiction sponsored by Baking In A Tornado and inspired by Daily Dose of Damn
Go take a look at the other June Secret Subject Swaps. It’s
fun and no one ever gets hurt I promise.
http://BakingInATornado.com
http://singlemumplusone.
www.theblacksheepmom.blogspot.
http://indianamericanmom.com
http://dailydoseofdamn.
http://aworkingmomswhoas.
http://dawnsdisaster.blogspot.
www.akashicwindow.blogspot.com
www.thepursuitofnormal.
www.homeonderanged.com
www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.
