Ten Things You Can Learn From Your Children Right Now

It isn’t really until you are an adult that you truly appreciate childhood. I guess it’s like everything in life, hindsight is 20/20. Childhood moves quickly and you suddenly find yourself trying to navigate the waters of adulthood. Then one day when you have your own children you are given what some may say is a second chance.

I didn’t start having my children until my thirties. If you are anything like me by the time you hit your thirties your vision of childhood is somewhat clouded. You forget what it was like to think like a child and while some people have not forgotten how to act like one you have certainly put that behavior so far in the back of your mind that you sometimes forget how to bring the child in you back. Luckily for me my children have helped me find her again. I’ve reconnected with the child in me and it’s amazing. Here are the top ten things my children have reminded me of that I had long forgotten:

1.      Laugh. Don’t just giggle or politely laugh at someone’s joke…really laugh. Laugh until you cry. Laugh until you look ugly and have mascara running down your face. Life is funny and laughing feels amazing! Laugh with friends. Laugh with family. Don’t just write LOL actually laugh out loud. It’s good for the soul.

2.      Cry. Don’t worry about what the person next to you thinks. Don’t worry about keeping your emotions to yourself. If you feel sad and you want to cry, then do it. Tears are cleansing and sometimes there is no cure for sadness other than feeling it. 

3.      Run.  Run around with your kids. Don’t just watch them run. Every now and then get up and run around with them. There is a reason your kids are constantly running. There’s a reason no matter how many times you tell them to stop running in the house they find it impossible to listen. It’s invigorating. It reminds you that you’re alive.

4.      Dance. Dance when you hear music. Dance when you don’t. Dance if you have rhythm, dance if you have none. Don’t worry about what you look like.

5.      Find something new and exciting in the everyday. All too often as adults we greet the day with the negative and what we are dreading. We think about the things that we don’t want to do that day. The meeting we have to attend or the running around we have to do. We want to fast forward to the end of the day before it’s even begun.  Find something amazing in the simple things. The way the sun feels on your face at the bus stop that day. The way your child waved at you at preschool drop off. The way you enjoyed every bit of your coffee on your commute into work. Find something to be excited about each and every day. It will make you happier.

6.      Tell someone you love them.  As adults we can be so very guarded with our feelings. While sometimes it’s necessary most of the time it’s not. It’s our pride. It’s our worry of feeling silly. Don’t think about it just say it. Call that friend you haven’t spoken with in all too long. Tell them you miss them. Tell your spouse you love them for no other reason than you were thinking it. Call your Grandma tell her she’s awesome. Don’t hold back. If you feel it, say it. My kids are constantly telling people they love them or they think they’re funny or pretty. They don’t care about rejection. They want to shout their feelings for the entire world to hear.

7.      Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. If you don’t try it you will never know.  If you aren’t making mistakes well you’re not learning. Learning helps you live longer….I don’t have anything to back that up other than common sense. If we’re learning we are participating in life and that keeps us living.

8.      Don’t be afraid to get dirty. My kids run out into the great outdoors without a care in the world. They aren’t thinking about their hair, their clothes or their nails. They are thinking that the worms in the dirt look like cool things to study that particular day. Get outside. Go on a hike. Take your kids fishing. Touch the worm it won’t bite.

9.      Lean on the people who love you. Kids are never afraid to ask for help. If they are unsure about something they ask for guidance. If they are afraid of something they ask for support. As adults we have this thing called pride, and it gets in the way A LOT. Don’t let it. When we lean on those who love us the bond becomes greater.  I haven’t gotten to the end of this road of life yet, but I would imagine that the greater the bonds we make along the way the easier it is at the end.

10.  Let go of the ever growing need for more materialistic things. I’m not always good at this one. I would be a liar if I didn’t say I like a nice bag or a great pair of shoes but the reminder that they really don’t matter is good.  I’ve watched my children receive gift after gift at many a birthday party and then I’ve watched them play pirates in the backyard for hours with nothing but each other and empty paper towel rolls (ahem telescopes) They show me time and time again that all they need is each other and a little imagination.

Children are constantly showing us that life is so much simpler than we make it out to be. Sure we have adult worries that they know nothing about like mortgages and work deadlines but  if we are able to take their cues and add some of these into our adult lives we will be all the better for it.  Get to know your inner child again.  You’ve been missed.

Girlfriends: They Get Better With Age

When you are a teenager you’re lucky if you have one, two or possibly three girlfriends you can actually call real and know that they are in fact your friends. Of course as a teenager this means they are not going to steal your boyfriend or even a boy that you like who will never actually be your boyfriend.  It also means they will have your back rather than talk behind it and it means that they accept you for you, which in and of itself is a huge task for teens.  I have to say I was one of the lucky ones. On the day I graduated high school I graduated knowing I had three…that’s right three girls who had my back no matter what.  Now that I am older (let’s not calculate how much older) I appreciate girlfriends more than I ever have.

Girlfriends are like wine and cheese, they get better with age. Sure when you are a teenager you think you need 875 friends in order to feel important, but as you get older you realize perhaps three or four really is the perfect number.  The older you get the more you need your girls. Yes even if you have a husband, children, a boyfriend, a partner you still need your girlfriends.

Your girlfriends make your other relationships better. They make you better. As you get older your girlfriends are like air…you need them to survive.  As a mom there are days that I could just pull my hair out. I know. I know. How hard can it really be right? It’s not that it’s hard in a I dig gravel by hand and throw it in a ditch all day type of way or I do quantum physics that our government depends on for the latest in space travel type of way so ease off all you mommy haters. It’s more of a holy crap I haven’t talked to anyone over the age of 5 in three whole flipping days, and I haven’t showered in….AH CRAP WHEN DID I SHOWER, type of way.  It’s hard in an I have to get to work and our kid is sick AGAIN who’s staying home type of way. It’s hard in a how am I making this meeting and the parade at school type of way. It’s hard. It just is. The days can feel long and would I change them? No. Would you change them? No. Would I do them without having my girls to call when I need them? Would I be half the mom I am without having my girls to laugh with, cry to (and not a sniffle but instead the ugly snort snot all over yourself cry) and just talk to? Hell no and neither would you! Here are the top ten reasons you need those girls around you.

1.       A girlfriend will laugh with you at things that your significant other thinks are utterly ridiculous. Holy crap I walked around with baby poop on my forehead all day long and no one told me. I want to cry. What are you laughing at?! Okay it is pretty funny. Fill my wine glass and let’s laugh about this for at least an hour.

2.       Who else can you bitch to about that one random chin hair you suddenly have? Okay teenagers laugh all you want but one day this will happen to you and when it does you will need a girlfriend to talk to about it.

3.       Your husband wants to know why you’re “too tired”. He should probably just ask your girlfriend because the two of you talked about it over lunch while the kids ran around chasing the dog. It went something like this. I am so flipping tired. Oh god me too! Why do the kids never stop? I have three deadlines this week and no sitters. I have to clean the everlasting mess that is this house and apparently everyone is hungry in this house. All. The. Time. I get into bed at night and I feel like I just ran a marathon that I didn’t train for properly.  OMG the marathon! Is that this weekend? Crap.  I have so much laundry to do. AHHHHHHHHH!

4.       Who else will stop you from crying and somehow make you laugh about the fact that NONE of your clothes fit you after having a baby (What the what? Why don’t they fit? I had him three days ago?) After  my first son was born I got in the shower and looked down at my belly and instead of crying I started hysterically laughing because seriously in all the books I had read no one told me about the bowl full of jelly that would be my belly. There was not one celebrity magazine that showed this jiggle wiggle. What the what?!

5.       There is nothing you can’t say to your girlfriends. I mean nothing.  You just had a kid. You want to talk about your cracking nipples? Fine. You want to talk about how you may have been that person who pooped on the delivery table? Great! You want to talk about how you feel sad and overwhelmed? Hugs and support are waiting. You want to talk about how the dog you once loved is getting on your ever last nerve ever since you had your baby? Fine and no judging FYI! You are having trouble getting pregnant? Hugs, wine, tissues and shoulders are waiting. You’re still single and want to talk about your awesomely fun weekend out? Please tell us every detail…slowly.

6.       You need girlfriends who understand you. Even the crazy parts of you. I may have an issue with cleaning, as in I do it too much. All my girlfriends know this about me. Do they make fun of me? Hell yes! Do they still love me? Absolutely. I may have a girlfriend who feels the need to read every depressing and horrific story she comes across online. She then shares these nightmares with her girlfriends. Do we make fun of her? A little. Do we text her hours later telling her the story is haunting us too? Hell YES! We understand each other.

7.       No matter how old you are and how clean you claim to eat you still need a night every now and then when you throw caution to the wind. You need a night when all your girlfriends come over and they all come with a bottle of wine. You break out the cheese, crackers, crudité, dip, organic corn chips, and grapes (because you’re almost 40 and you have to keep it classy). Two hours into your gathering you’re breaking out the vodka, Doritos and Ben & Jerry’s and the laughs are worth every single calorie and then some!

8.       No matter how many times you ask your spouse if your outfit looks good you will never quite believe him the way you will your girlfriends. They are always honest. Always.

9.       Through your successes and your disappointments no one is there as consistently as your girlfriends. They will greet you with balloons and wine on your big promotion. They will come over unannounced and let you cry on their shoulder with no words uttered about the reason for your sadness. They will drop it all. They will drop it for you.

10.   According to data women out live men by 10 years. Who the hell else are you going to sky dive with, travel to Tuscany with and spend your last ten years laughing with?  Your girlfriends that’s who!

So you see girlfriends really do get better with age and I’m pretty sure the best part of aging with your girlfriends is that the themes all stay the same…wrinkles, flab, wine, cheese, accidental poop stories and uncontrollable laughter. 

 

*This post is dedicated to all my girls*