A Whole New World

What is it about change that can be so hard? Is it the letting go of the past or is it moving on into the uncertainty of the future? It’s never easy. It’s often exciting. It’s always bittersweet. As humans we find joy in comfort. We find comfort in familiarity and the moment that changes it’s hard. As humans we are constantly changing. We are moving along in life to…well to live. As kids we are exploring the world on a daily basis. As teenagers we are exploring where we think we want to be in the world and as adults we are hoping we have found it.

As a parent we are no longer worrying about our place in the world half as much as we are worrying about our child’s place. From the moment the positive test is in your hands you are no longer thinking about your needs. Your place has been found. You have been defined. You are now a parent. It’s scary, it’s exciting and holy crap it’s a whole lot of change all at once.

As a kid I remember my grandmother constantly telling me to enjoy my youth. It goes fast she would say. Before you know it you will look back and wonder where the time has gone. My grandmother is right about a lot of things, but she was spot on with this one. It goes fast. Just when you think your own youth couldn’t have possibly moved along any quicker you have your own child and let’s just say don’t blink or yes you may actually miss something. I remember every single detail about carrying my oldest son. I remember the day I went into labor like it was yesterday. I remember seeing his face for the first time, holding him and knowing I had never felt love like that before. I remember the moment he wrapped his little hand around my finger and thinking this is what I have been waiting for. This is what I have been looking for.

I watched him see things for the first time, laugh for the first time, crawl, stand, walk and talk.  I have watched and smiled as he has become the little boy I see now. The confident, although sometimes annoying yet beautiful little boy we created. I look at him run around with his friends, laughing, completely care free and I think about all the things I want for him in this life. I think about how much I want to protect him from being hurt for as long as I possibly can. I think about how I want him to remain innocent from the world for years. I think about how I want him to be able to hold his own and succeed at whatever he wants to do. I think about how much I want to hold on to the hugs, the snuggles and the kisses because I know they are fleeting. It’s only a matter of time before he is too embarrassed to hug me or tell me he loves me. I think about all of this and I realize just how short the “little kid” days really are.

 

Here I sit one day away from putting my little boy on a school bus for the very first time and I know just how excited he is and just how nervous I am…change is bittersweet. I used to always wonder why Kindergarten was such a big deal to parents. I now know it is the first big step towards independence. It is the realization that the five years before this went so fast and knowing that the next five will go even faster. It is the realization that it is them breaking away from needing you as much as they did the day before. It is all your fears, hopes and dreams for them starting to happen and like all changes in life everything is out of your control.  It is change, change is hard, change is bittersweet but change is necessary.

 

In less than two days I will put my little boy on a big school bus. I will hold back tears and tell him to have a great day. I will wave and smile and watch as the bus drives down the street taking my little boy off to a whole new world. It will be the first of many bittersweet changes along this journey we call life.

I will be here with open arms and ears ready to hear all about his new exciting world.

 

We All Have Bad Days

Today was a bad day. You know one of those days where you sit back after the kids go to bed and you say wow that was a really bad flipping day. How bad could it really be right?  Well I will tell you. Here are the top ten reasons today sucked.

1.       My oldest woke up at 6:30 am demanding to play angry birds. (My phone wasn’t charged.)

2.       The milk was bad. (I’ve been away with the kids for a week so this makes sense)

3.       The 2yo slept until 9:40 (sounds awesome right?!) he peed through everything to the point where his bedroom smelled like a nursing home and may in fact need to be lit on fire.

4.       It rained. (Mother nature’s way of telling actual mothers to F-OFF)

5.       We had plumbers coming to the house, the water was off, and I had to pee. The end.

6.       I took the boys school shopping for new sneakers and we were in public so other people were there to witness them fighting and me losing my mind.

7.       I took them to the library and the 2yo pooped within the first two minutes of getting there.

(Where can I find a book about holding in your poop at the library?!)

8.       The 2yo fell on his face in front of the library and the police station and proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs for 10 minutes. ( I actually hoped for a short period of time that the police would throw me into jail or a break or something)

9.       The 5yo told me pee leaked out after laughing so hard at the 2yo falling…which was his way of telling me he just peed his pants.

10.   I forgot wipes and diapers.

Before having kids I worked in corporate sales and all I used to worry about were my sales quotas. On a bad day I would come home, bitch to my husband, go for a run, cook dinner, pour a glass of wine, soak in a bath and call it a day. Now that I am home with my kids my husband can’t hear me bitching over the screaming, I can rarely make it for a run without at least one kid in tow, I cook dinner with a timer that makes it feel like a game show, and a bath??? Hahahahaha and wine?....well that’s just survival.  

Regardless of all of that I look at my boys and I remember driving to the OBGYN to listen to the heartbeat of my oldest and talking to him the whole way. I remember feeling the kicks and loving each and every one of them. I remember the Doctor telling us we had another boy with the second and crying with happiness. I signed up for this,  I calculated my ovulation for this. I love all of this. I love the good days and the bad days. I really do. I may have no clue what I am doing or what tomorrow will bring but I will welcome tomorrow with open arms. (a charged phone & a toilet that flushes) ;)

 

They are worth every bad day...in every way!

 

Our Family Rules

I’ve read all those cute Family Rules Signs to hang in your house and I like them every time I see them. They can be found all over Pinterest or as I like to call it the Land of Make Believe.  We are trying to raise our kids with all those great things like saying please and thank you, hugging, playing fair, forgiving…blah, blah, blah. If we are going to teach them to be honest well then let's be honest.

This would be a much more realistic list for our house at the current time:

Our Family Rules

1. Do not pee on the floor.
2. Toilet paper is not a toy.
3. Do not play in the dog's water bowl...it's nasty. It is for him to drink not for your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to have a swimming party.
4. Whining to the point that only dolphins can understand you is frowned upon and will not result in you getting what you want so save your energy.
5. There is no arguing about bed time even if we just ate dinner and people are outside riding bikes...that's what blinds are for.
6. There is no screaming when the windows are open unless you are in actual pain. HELLO...the neighbors have ears and I want them to think we are normal for as long as possible.
7. We are not playing games that involve making siren or horn sounds for any longer than 20 minutes...it just makes good sense.
8. You will not go to bed harboring snacks from the day.
9. Laugh a lot otherwise you might cry. (this rule is really for mommy and daddy)
10. Waking up at 5, 5:30 or 6am is EEEEEKKK too early!
11. The limit for questions asked in one day is 254, anything over that is just crazy.
12. Food should always be put in your mouth not up your nose no matter how funny you think it is.
13. Objects that are not food, like the dog's tennis ball should not go into your mouth.
14. The walls are not for coloring.
15. The couches are not for spreading peanut better. (yes I still remember that ONE time).
16. Always remember that at the end of the day no matter how crazy things get we all love each other.

 

 

 

*please see rule #2*