Friday, September 13, 2013

It Comes With a Price

Today’s post is part of The Secret Subject Swap hosted by Karen over at Baking In A Tornado. This week 11 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.  My subject is: You wake up one morning and find that little elves have taken over the cleaning of your home. But, it comes with a price: The elves what to raise your first born as their own. What happens next? It was submitted by:  Melissa of Home on Deranged . It isn’t easy to write about a topic that is not your own. It’s a challenge and I have to say I love a challenge!


The other day I woke up just as I normally do, still tired and longing for more sleep! I walked down the hallway and rushed to get my first cup of coffee only to find a group of little elves cleaning my house. Um yeah I know it sounds crazy but it’s true! My first thought was how on earth did they get in here? Then when I saw how they were cleaning my second thought was:  Who the hell cares how they got in here as long as they keep cleaning. My floors were shining, my cabinets were gleaming and I was elated…all before 8am! 

As I brewed my first cup of coffee I approached the elf I had determined was the leader. I determined this from the way he was bossing around all the other elves. “You missed a spot!” he yelled at the one in the blue shirt. “Pick up the pace.” he said to the one in the yellow shirt. I thanked him and said: “I don’t know how you stumbled upon my house but I am sure glad you did. I literally went to bed last night feeling like a hamster on a wheel and wishing that someone would appear to help me keep up.” 

“I’m happy to hear we were able to grant that wish for you.” he replied.  “Of course I plan on paying you.” I said. “Well that’s the thing; we don’t want your money.” “Oh?” “We would like to raise your oldest as one of us.” “Um as an elf?” “Yes.”

I stood there looking at an elf and I thought to myself of course. Of course this is too good to be true. Then I thought does this guy even know what he is getting into? I mean my five year old can be quite the handful. He’s whiney when he’s tired. He talks back when we ask him to clean up his toys. He’s ALWAYS flipping hungry.  He’s really cute though. Oh and so funny. He has such a sarcastic sense of humor and I’ve always adored it. He laughs at all my jokes. Who would laugh at my jokes if he wasn’t around?  He’s so smart.  I love watching him think things through. Oh and I can’t forget thoughtful. He is so thoughtful.  After all these thoughts raced through my head I looked around my house and while I did love how clean it was I knew it didn’t compare to raising him all on our own minus the elves. I looked at the elf and I told him thanks but no thanks. With that the elves packed up their cleaning supplies and were on their way.

Suddenly I heard a loud beeping sound and I rolled over to discover it was my alarm clock. Of course that was a dream! How could it not have been a dream? Elves? Bwahahahaha now that is funny. I walked down the hallway stepped on 16 Legos, one dump truck and a toy train. UGH! My five year old was up mere minutes later. He threw his pajamas on the living room floor and proceeded to spill his orange juice all over the kitchen next. Hmmm maybe elf life wouldn’t have been so bad.

Here are the links to all the other phenomenal bloggers who participated in this Secret Subject Swap. Sit back, click around and enjoy.                            Baking In A Tornado                      The Insomniac’s Dream                         Anni’s Bubble                      My Personal Accent       Black Sheep Mom                       Home on Deranged             Evil Joy Speaks                     Dates 2 Diapers                   Rocks, No Salt Mommy                                  The Momisodes


  1. It sure does come with a price! LMAO!

  2. Ha ha ha, so funny, and yet so sweet.

    Oh, there were many times over the years I would have handed both of my kids over to elves for the luxury of not stepping on toys. Lucky for all kids out there, their Mammas truly adore them.

  3. So funny! Nothing like a nice lego wedged in your foot to wake you up!

  4. If your kids are anything like mine, well......the elves would agree to clean my house forever if I'd take my kids back....

    And isn't it funny how stepping on a Lego feels remotely like stepping on a land mine?

  5. Since I'm such a mean and terrible Mom, and I make my boys do chores (If they want video game time, they clean) I sort of already have those elves. And I get to keep the boys who are going to save me when the zombies come.

  6. You made me giggle!!!! And....I'm thinking maybe one of my girls....maybe just maybe could be raised as an elf if taught to come back and clean my house!!!!

  7. That's a funny prompt question! Love how you answered it. Most days I would gladly hand over my 17 yr. old if the elves want to clean up after him.....